"and with her touch he began to flyyy"

ALRIGHT so alot has fucking happend.

Some person told on me for supposable having Drugs in school. ummm ok am i that stupid? So i got pulled out of 2nd period, got searched from head to toe, purse locker binder. And the fucked up thing is i got suspended cuz they found a lighter. God and i didnt even have any drugs on me. And then they said since i didnt have any drugs on me, and i had 30 dollars that i had to of sold it to some one because "jr high kids just dont carry that much money around" haha fuck that. So i got suspended. And the person that told is messed up.

God then i had ISS, then a jackson history test. Which ALL of mrs jacksons classes had to retake because we had a sub and EVERYONE screamed the answers out and everyone cheated except for the person who told on everyone for cheating. haha i swear i knew sum1 was gonna tell.

Oh yes BEN PLEADED GUILTY. I dont have to go to trial.

im getting a tattoo.

since i cant go to the last days of school im goin to me dads sooner than i thought.

Im stayin in a motel for the first time this week with stephen dan sara and maybe blake and mike then my dads commin on satuday to meet them.

GOD ok my mom and dad are going out in saturday for dinner. haha thats not a good thing. Mom hates dad, dad LOVES mom, they havent been alone or even talked in person for over 10 years now. haha damn this isnt gona be pretty.

lastly i love my friends. haha ok well i shoulda put that first but oh well!! EMILY AND ALL MY GIRLS I DUNNO WHAT ID DO WITHOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!

i still have alot more ill ecpalim later.

*choice is yours*

Yea so uhm i got a new layout. haha jason edited that pic of me and i just loved it oh so much so i had to put it on.

Yea emilys been acting weird latly and i dont like it~
OH i just remembered the words!!!

Its the song that never it ends it goes on and on my friends
when you start it singing and not knowin what it was
you start it singing just because
its the song that never it ends
it goes on and on my freiends...

Anyways I think im still moving to my dads. Hes comming up on friday to talk about it.

HA yea im starting my whole bad girl thing again. Iv been staying up all night and sleeping all day. I hated when i did that before and i hate it now. oh well.


"His touch made her tingle"

How do you tell really good friend that you dont want to be with him that way?

I got asked out the other day. yea i know. and hes a really good friend. But for once, i really dont want a guy. Im sick of man drama. Theres only one man in this world that i want. and going out with other guys isnt gonna get me any closer to him.


its funny how people ask me why i want to be famous and big someday. My dream is to model, to sing, and act. Its not just some fantasy of mine. Its a hope. A Hope that someday ill prove them wrong, i CAN be something. And that some day when i look back on when they didnt believe in me, ill smile.


(no subject)



how many siblings do i have?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Today uhh cant get any worse? So about 3 days ago i FINALLY decided i will go with my dad. It was a sure thing. so today..

I woke up when my gma pounding on my door "YOUR DADS HERE!" so i spent 15 minutes getting ready and went out side to see him...and the "surprise" he had for me. so i saw him...and two other kids? "alex... these are your lil brother and sister, and u have another one in cali but u know about him" he says. I mean their the cutest things in the world i admit. But this totally screwed up my decision on moving in with my dad. Cuz first off i THOUGHT he lived alone with his one son. So i though HEY it wont be to hard for one more right? But now theres gonna be what? 5 people there? and my dad is a single parent? GOD will he even afford to have me move in with him???????????? GOD of all things i didnt expect THAT to happen. i mean FUCK talk about a slap in the face. So for the rest of the day i hung out with my little sister...and brother. mostly sisiter since iv never had one. But yea then we went to breakfast and now my dads gone to cali again. And we didnt even get to go shopping. fuck whatever. i love my new siblings. im just in shock..

Their names are
Brandi- the baby whos 7 months old.
Dominik- 1 and a half years old.

i love them to death. i love KIDS! but uhhhhhh 6 siblings? And i foumd out my aunt on my dads side has uhh 11 kids? i mean DAMN pretty soon my familys gonna run the world!


*im sorry i hurt you*

OK- an actual update. alots been going on latly. so much to the point where i cant get myself up every morning. but i pull through i guess. im not gonna drop out again. and im proud. i still dont know whether or not to move in with my dad or not. i guess i still have 2 months to decide. i think i will. i mean i want to leave my past behind me. but i dont think i can leave the people i love. before i wouldnt leave because i loved alot of people. now theres only 4 people in the world i would stay for. Emily, G, M, And my bros. And two of them will probably never talk to me again, my bros are growing up, so that leaves emily right? But i cant stay for one person who i cant even talk to outside of school. so maybe i just answered my own question. i will go.


Anyways im partying this fride to celebrate cinco de mayo.


which brings me to my next issue. Theres this guy. haha i know WOW. But its different. Hes not like the totaly druggy  sk8ter type that i usually go for like guy or mark for example. This guy is a total nerd, average looking, but a great personality. i think ill date him for a while just to try something new. but im not sure yet, theres still sum holes i need to fill.


ugh so much more is going on right now. so much i can hardly handle it. but atleast im handling it better than i would have b4. and im proud of myself for that.

~Im sorry I hurt you. Im sorry I got us caught up in a relationship when I was no where near ready or stable to play my part in . Im sorry for all the drama I caused and all the emotions I got thrown around. But im not the same. Im not that person anymore. And I love you. ~



time getting high: like once in 6t
time gettin drunk: like 6th
date: haha 6th i think.
time having sex: 14
time you ate sea food: never
time getting in trouble for something really big: oh god prolly the holloween thing. wasnt the first time gettin in trouble but the first time involving like 2 cop cars 3 ambulances and like 2 helicopters haha
detention: :) im a good girl.
time getting a filling: never
fist fight: haha girls just yell and pull hair.
questioned existance: never actually
first screen name: angleeyes070689 <--haha i think thats the one cory made for me.
first self-purchased album: like brittney spears or sumtin in 3rd grade when me and shannon we're obseesed with her and "hit me baby one more time"
first pets: 2 hampsters
first big trip: hasnt happend yet.
last big car ride: hmmmm
last real kiss: umm uhhh god i dont remember!! iv been stayin away from bfs for a while! haha i figured i should stop dating till im 16.
last good cry: ROFL EMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
last movie seen: lion king one and a half
last movie seen in a theater: starskey and hutch with hope!! haha or that one time me kelsey ashley clay and jeff snuck into the girl next door and got caught.
last beverage drank: tea :(
last food consumed: IM ON A DIET THANK YOU! *a mcdonalds happy meal...shhh!*
last phone call: from my doper girl.
last TV show watched: one tree hill.
last shoes worn: um my cute white heel sandal toe shoes.
last CD played: Stone temple piolets
last item bought: prolly food haha oh no it was a lighter!
last cigarette: like an hour ago
last book read: haha sadly i dont rememver, but i do read alot. surprisingly.
last time showered: this morning
last words spoken: CYA DOPER (saying bye to emily)
last sleep: last night
last IM: derek?
last time wanting to die: :0 never!
last time dancing: haha just a second ago.

ok that was fun....i might just update soon.

(no subject)



a friend came for me with a serious problem. i dont know how im gonna deal with this one. But i promose you babe, ill do what i can for it to stop. Ill be there by ur side. and ill help you through it. I know things will get better.


OK so the past couple of days have been...weird? haha saturday night was alot of confusion. Then sunday OMFG alot of uhh crying? and yelling? and ALOT OF FUCKING DRAMA! OMG it was crazy! It was like all my friends goin at it...then same with today! And ugh i wanna see if i can get out of woodshop. i hate it. 3rd pd i had a cool talk with dustin on how i should grow taller.  5th pd me and gabby talked....SIXTH pd! OMG I GOT FUCKING GOOD IN JACKSONS TEST! It brought me up from a F to a C! OMG thats the best iv ever gotten in that class! And i really need to bring my grades up............haha my GPA wasnt too good.  yea then after school emily went to uhh soccer and i went to the PWM modeling agency to check in....they uhh styled my hair weird? and they also said i needed to lose 5 pounds! haha which is what they told me last time? GOD DAMNIT EMILY ITS YOUR FAULT FEEDING ME ALL THOSE DAMN COOKIES!! haha yea but in a few weeks ill be signed! YESSA! plus itll help me get through gymnastics! and get a scholarship and hopefully lead to singing or acting for my future ;)! haha then i can move to cali with emily!



so goals for this week:

Call carmen about my Gymnastics Schedule

Lose 5 pounds

Learn how to style my hair on my own haha

not wear as much eyeliner because "it shows off a more sexual side of a model rather than the beauty....BEAUTY IS WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR NOT PLAY BOY!" - john from the agency




im gonna change the world someday. just watch. then youll be sorry for what you said.


(no subject)